Malphas
by Yoshishisha
Summary: What is a Devil King to do when he is bored as Hell? Take a vacation to the living realm , of course! And as chance will have it, it is a bored Devil King that comes one day to the quaint suburb of Privet Drive, few years before a certain baby is dropped on the Dursley's doorsteps. And a whole generation of children (wizarding and muggle) is affected by the Devil's presence.
1. The Devil King is Bored

He commanded armies. Terrifying ones. Soldiers devoid of pity, and filled with hatred, rage and lust. He thrived in the pain of his opponents, grew in the despair of his enemies, delighted in torturing the damned and generally enjoyed his status as the scariest BAMF to ever exist.

He was the Devil King… And he was bored as Hell.

He couldn't really remember the very beginning of his existence – after all, who ever did? – but he did know that he was a pure demon, born out of two demonic creatures, not one of those humans who somehow got transformed. What he did remember, though, was the constant power struggle that permeated his existence. He didn't have time to be bored then, too busy was he getting stronger in order to fend off various attackers who weren't above killing the young in order to ascertain their power over the masses. And then he'd served in the legions of Hell, under one of the greatest generals he'd ever known, before he eventually took over the position once his superior was killed. Then came the turning point in his life: after centuries of work, he'd finally become the Devil King.

Sure, it had been amusing funny for the first century or so: he'd just killed assassinated the previous Devil King after all;, he was bound to feel some kind of power high. But it had gotten dull a few decades after that, during which all the more moderately powerful demons had attempted to take advantage of the power vacuum. After those years of action came the years of boredom, during which the challengers were few and far in between. He'd tried to find new ways to abate his boredom, but being evil all the time had gotten tedious after a while.

His current plan had (ironically enough) come from one of his torture victims, who'd been bloody pissed (literally)at having his faults and sins pointed out to thrown back at him on the rack.

"You'll never under understand what it's like up there," the sorry excuse for a man had spat, incensed. "You'll never understand, 'cause there ain't nothing human in you, you blasted freak of a monster!"

Of course, the prisoner had then (completely coincidentally, mind you) contracted some rare kind of bug that ate through his internal organs and kept him from sleeping at the same time, but he'd deserved it. However, like one of those annoying courtesans who wanted to become the Devil Queen (and just wouldn't understand that no, he didn't need one and yes, he was perfectly fine with being single forever), the words had taken root in his the Devil King's mind and started to fester and grow inside it until they could no longer be ignored.

Yes, he would grace the living world with his presence. After all, he had been ruling the underworld for more than a century; he was long overdue for a vacation.

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**The idea for this fic came to me from reading _The Mind Can Make a Heaven of Hell_ by _TardisIsT_****_heOnlyWayToTravel_, where "Sherlock is actually the Devil, but he decided to live as a mortal because ruling Hell was boring". I asked for permission to use the idea, but I still haven't gotten an answer yet. If the answer is positive, I'll continue the fic. If not, it might get deleted, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.**

**Hope you enjoyed, so leave a review if you can!**


	2. So He Makes a Plan

The Devil King stood alone in the deepest recesses of the underground, deeply lost in his thoughts. It was there that he went when he wanted to think alone, and everyone knew not to disturb him in those occasions under threat of extreme torture. In that place, he could sometimes disappear for years at a time, and no one would be the wiser, making it the perfect place to put his plans in gear. Indeed, as he was the Devil King, very few individuals actually got to witness his appearance, because he spent most of his time in his palace or the dungeons. This had the added effect of making his life easier for two reasons: it kept up his fearsome reputation with barely any effort on his part, and it enabled him to disappear whenever he wanted as long as no idiotic weakling tried to challenge him for his position while he was on leave. After all, if he wanted to stay on Earth for a while, it wouldn't do for some upstart demon to find and kill his mortal form off before he could abate his boredom, right? Then he'd be right back in Hell and the boring cycle would start again.

So there he was, trying to devise a plan for his stay in the mortal realm. The first question he needed to solve was: which form would he choose to take? That seemingly benign question was deceptively important, as from it would stem all the other variables. He obviously wouldn't become any form of animal as they tended to be dreadfully weak, dumb and dull, whereas the most interesting amongst them had a tendency to get captured and chained or branded by the various humanoid species. And even if he somehow managed to avoid such a dreadful fate – he **was **the Devil King after all – he would either need to find an intelligent conversationalist amongst his own species (doubtful), or he would need to find an intelligent being of another species to do the same (even less probable, mostly due to the language barrier).

Animals thus removed from the pool of possibilities, his only other options were humans or intelligent magical beings. And as much as he wanted to abate his boredom by making his life as interesting as possible, human was just too weak of a form for him to even consider, what with their pathetic lack of healing abilities or other such aptitudes that would give them an advantage over other species. No, what he wanted was a form that was resilient and would make blending in easier in the rest of the human population. It wouldn't do for them to realize that there was a predator in their midst, after all.

Those terms immediately took away the options of becoming a centaur, an elf or a goblin, and as there was no such thing as a male veela, he would refrain from experiencing life as a female. Such a decision also had the added effect of keeping him from experiencing that dreadful state they called "period". While he was all in favour of pain (he dished it out on a daily basis), he didn't wish to suffer without any real benefit coming from it. The only benefit was, in fact, more of a drawback to him. Indeed, he was very open to indulging in his baser desires, but the thought of ever running the risk of falling pregnant? It definitely put a damper to any ideas of experiencing life as a female. Unless, maybe, if he was to choose the form of a female vampire: not only would he not have to experience those dreadful "periods", but there would also be no risk at all of him ever suffering through pregnancy (vampires being biologically frozen in time, and all that).

In fact, the only humanoid species he could even envision taking were either that of a vampire or of a werewolf. Of course, he could also choose to be a wizard, but where would be the fun in that? It would just serve to make ridiculously overpowered compared to the rest of the population which, while initially amusing, would rapidly become boring after a short while (just like being the Devil King, if he thought about it).

Still, decisions, decisions… Fangs once a month or all year long? Weakness to the sun or to the moon? Painful transformation or constant blood cravings? Higher than average resilience or near invulnerability? Feral appearance or unearthly looks? Amber eyes or scarlet ones? Eternal life or slightly longer lifespan? Each form had its advantages and disadvantages, which kept the Devil King from easily reaching a conclusion.

Finally, after a few years of deliberation, a decision was reached. He wanted his stay in the mortal realm to be as interesting as possible, while still enabling to appear a somewhat normal individual. The cons of each species were unfortunate, but would keep his life from being unchallenging. After all, wasn't invulnerability exactly what he was attempting to avoid?

His decision taken, the Devil King stood up to take care of the preparations. The Mortal Realm would never know what hit it…

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**Chapter's a bit longer this time :D**

**I'll be fast and express my most heartfelt thanks to _Azadrie _and _MindsetSymphony _for adding this story to their favourite list. I did a funny giddy dance when I got that info, which caused my friends to look at me strangely for that. But I don't care XD**

**Next time, the Devil King will make his much awaited entrance in the Mortal Realm! Can some of you guess where it'll be? *hint hint, look at the category***

**Leave a review if you've got time, I'd love to read what you liked and didn't like (or any other comments, really).**

**Seeya in a week!**


	3. Starts a New Life

Thus, October 31st of the year 1978 – Halloween was a day known amidst every demon for the weakness of the veil between the realms – saw a fairly handsome young man by the name of Mark Evergreen move into the quaint and quiet suburb of Privet Drive, in Surrey. He was evidently immediately assaulted (in his own words) by a horde of benevolent neighbours who then proceeded to re-enact a non-violent version of the Spanish Inquisition with him as the victim.

Needless to say that it was an interesting challenge for the one who used to be the Devil King. Not that he wasn't at that specific moment, but he wanted to stay as inconspicuous as possible and establish a reputation as the nice, but shy, new arrival. As such, his usual intimidation tactics wouldn't do, which prompted him to use his well-honed diplomacy skills (also called: the art of bullshitting).

"So what prompted you to move to our peaceful little neighbourhood?"

That was Mrs. Number 8 asking. Her smile could have (and probably had) fooled most people into believing that she was expressing genuine interest and curiosity, but to the King of Hell, there was a positively saccharine vibe to it that enabled him to know that she was only waiting to find a weakness to exploit.

"A-Ano…" he stuttered slightly to confirm his new persona. "My mother has recently been transferred to a nearby hospital due to an illness she contracted, so I decided to move closer to it in case she ever needs me," he admitted, twirling the pen he'd been holding nervously.

Hook, line, and sinker, he thought as he watched his new neighbours' faces shifting appropriately into expressions of sympathy, not all of them genuine, though. An appropriate sob-story would go a long way into making everyone believe that he was the perfect son, and he'd secured an alibi for his random absences at the same time. Stroke of genius, if he said so himself.

"A-ano, is that what you said?" another woman, this one with a horse-like neck, asked inquisitively. "That sounds foreign…" she then commented seemingly lightly.

The Devil King – _no, Mark_, he reminded himself – internally frowned at the sudden change in expression displayed by the people surrounding him. Whereas their faces had shown sympathy scant seconds before, they were now filled with poorly-veiled contempt, except for a few of those that seemed to be resisting the temptation of rolling their eyes at their fellow human beings' behaviour. Mark made note of these faces, and vowed to stay on good terms with them. After all, it wouldn't do at all to antagonize the few non-xenophobic inhabitants of the neighbourhood.

"Ah, yes, I apologize" _for speaking more languages and being better educated than you_, he added silently as he kept an expression of contrite embarrassment on his face.

"_Ano _is a mark of hesitation or uncertainty in Japanese." The looks of scorn deepened at that statement, but Mark still faked obliviousness as he went on. "My father had several business deals with various countries around the world and had me learn the languages of the most important of them," he admitted, watching the scornful expressions fall.

And that was Mrs. Number 4 foiled. She might resent him for a while, but as he hadn't shown any indication of knowing what she was up to, she wouldn't consider it a direct attack on herself. It also had the added benefit of keeping him open to further dialogue if need ever be.

And he'd been right to feign ignorance, for no sooner had the words left his mouth that her husband that a beefy man with a rather fetching mustache let out an angry mutter.

"Blasted invaders taking our jobs and forcing good honest folks like us to learn their barbarian language…"

Mark kept up a simple noncommittal smile at that comment from Mr. Number 4, acting as though he had not heard it. He'd perfected that talent after long years of listening to insults uttered behind his back in Hell. Granted, his reaction then had been to let out a frightening grin, but changing the degree of his smile wasn't that hard; he just needed to show less teeth, and voilà!

The next hour or so was spent answering other inane questions and listening to idiotic drivel, all the while spinning a reputation as a soft spoken bachelor with a naturally positive disposition. He'd almost had to invite them all for tea as a good neighbour should, but managed to excuse himself of this particular neighbourly duty, citing his bachelor status (those kind of activities required a lady's touch after all) and the fact that he hadn't unpacked everything yet as excuses.

He finally gave himself permission to sigh in relief as the last of the neighbours trickled out of his driveway. It honestly felt like being back in Hell for a while: the subtle power play, the interrogation in which everyone tried to find a weakness to exploit in their adversary… Who knew that there would be so much backstabbing in what was supposed to be a tranquil suburb?

Now, if only he could find the source of that sense of foreboding he'd felt ever since he'd stepped foot in the area…

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**Newest chapter up today! I'm trying to make them a bit longer, but I'm not sure how successful I was in that endeavour.**

**Next chapter, the Devil King gets a job! ^.^ Now, I Wonder if any of you will manage to find what it will be... I put a hint in the summary, if you'd like o know.**

**PM or review the answer if you'd like XD**

**See you in a week!**


	4. And Gets a Job

When he'd chosen a form to take during his stay in the mortal realm, the Devil King knew that it was only the first step in his elaborate plan. After all, people needed much more than just a body to live comfortably: they needed clothes, food, shelter... Money could take care of any of the previously mentioned issues easily enough. The only true problem he'd seen at the time had been that everything left a paper trail in the mortal realm.

Well... not everything per see, but enough of it that it would be overly difficult to simply attempt to make up fake papers or do without.

So he'd made an amendment to his self-imposed rule of no magic, and had created himself a new identity, with no mortal being the wiser. A little bit of forgery (no one would guess just by looking at him, but he was a champion of the domain) and bam! He'd found himself the son of a middle class businessman, and had found himself a mother in the coma ward of a nearby hospital.

An only child with a busy father and a comatose mother; that would take care of explaining any of his more questionable personality traits quite nicely, wouldn't it?

Which led him to his current situation...

In order to fit in amongst the perfectly ordinary citizens of Privet Drive, he would need to be perfectly ordinary himself. And the first step in accomplishing such an endeavour was to get a steady source of income: in other words, a job.

He'd thought long and hard about this issue, even when he'd been back in Hell. As such, he knew exactly which criteria his new occupation would need to meet before he even considered taking it.

First, it would need to have some semblance of variety and unpredictability on a day to day basis. Indeed, his goal in coming into the mortal realm was, and still remained, the avoidance of boredom. As such, it wouldn't do to get a dull and predictable employment (furthermore, he knew he'd snap and kill someone if such a thing ever happened: God knew it had happened often enough back in Hell).

Second, he would need to have some sort of social interactions at work. As much as he disliked his persona of an inoffensive nice young man – well, not really, because he did enjoy tricking the hapless mortals although it wasn't as funny when his victims didn't realize they were being tricked – he did see the importance and the necessity of it. And without social interactions, the potential for causing chaos would be severely diminished. After all, screwing with people's heads was a prime way of causing such disorder. And he did so love the delicious expression of utter betrayal on his interlocutor's face whenever his treachery was revealed (if it ever was)... Almost as much as he thrived in the look of despair and horror that crossed their face when they realized his true identity.

But lastly, and in his opinion most importantly, he wanted whatever he would accomplish as a result of his work to last even after he'd be long gone... And not in the sense that he'd have a statue to his image, or anything even remotely similar to that. The Devil King – Mark, he reminded himself – didn't want his trace on this realm to be purely physical, left to wither away through the course of time.

No, he wanted to stay in the populace's mind – perhaps even unconsciously – for a very long time, to have his very own urban legend bearing his name, to brand the collective mindscape for generations to come... And he knew exactly the way to accomplish this goal.

Those were the thoughts that had led Mark to approach his building of interest.

"Surrey's primary school," he intoned slowly as he plastered a politely gentle smile upon his features, before stepping foot inside his future place of employment. Or at least, it would become such if everything went according to plan.

* * *

Less than an hour later saw him sitting in front of the headmaster of the establishment, in the latter's office, for an impromptu interview.

"So, you are telling me that you have come here in order to become a teacher in this fine establishment..." the old man (by young mortal standard) trailed off leadingly.

"Yes, indeed. Although – if you do not find it too bold of me to do so – I must express my surprise as to the fact that you are offering me an interview right away: it was my understanding that I wouldn't be able to expect one before a few months, at least..."

And hadn't THAT been a pleasant surprise... The newly-dubbed Mark – he still had yet to get used to that pedestrian name – had expected to need to drop his CV and confirm his (forged) credentials at various establishments, before even having a chance of being considered for a teaching position. As luck would have it, however – and considering that he was the Devil, maybe he shouldn't have been too surprised – he'd had the chance of being hired straight away into the first school he'd walked into, and was at that very moment discussing his various employment possibilities with its principal.

"You would habitually be correct. However, while all of our teaching positions are presently filled, some of our teachers may find themselves in need of an assistant for specific lessons, whereas others might need a replacement should they be sick, injured, or otherwise unable to fulfill their duties for an unspecified length of time," the principal explained calmly. "As such, a young man such as you would be adequate to fulfill that role, and it could enhance any further possibility of advancement in this fine establishment," he ended rather condescendingly.

The Devil Mark – or should it be the Mark King? He'd definitely have to proceed by steps to get used to that name – nodded pensively and slowly, reflectively curbing the impulse of donning the short imperious nod he'd grown used to giving his subordinates. So it seemed like several of the principal's staff was nearing retirement, thus leading the old man opposite to him to search for a young man eager to prove his worth, and a bit naive and timid enough to not bite more than he was given…

Interesting…

The teacher-to-be pondered his options, before realizing that he only had the one he had been given by the director if he wanted to "fit in". And by the sharp edge of his interlocutor's smile, the old man knew it too.

So Mark did the only thing his chosen persona could do. He smiled -so different from his razor sharp smirks – gently and accepted the position with the refrained enthusiasm of an ecstatic young man attempting – and failing – to look indifferent.

For that was his first step in his conquest of Privet Drive… and the whole of the mortal realm!

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**Em... Hi? I know it's been *checks update date* about two months since I last updated, so I would like to apologize for the terrible lateness of this chapter. I tried to make it a bit longer as a forgiveness present, but I'm not sure how successful I've been in that endeavour... Anyhow, I really have no good excuse besides the fact that I've been swamped with work lately, but I'll try to get the next chapter out towards the end of this month, so wish me luck!**

**And I must thank all of you who've kept following/favouriting/reviewing this story, because that's what motivated me to get this chapter out as soon as I finished it, so thank you!**

**Our favourite Devil King now has a job! Am I the only one happy about it? And kudos to all of you who guessed his occupation ^.^ Tell me what you thought or would like to see next :)**


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